I found that I had to get help for myself, then I could make better decisions about my relationship.
Have you heard of Al-anon? It is for friends and families of people that have someone with an alcoholic in their life. There was a lot of reading available there for me, a lot of support for me etc.
I found for me with my boyfriend (then husband) was not able to get help even with all of my best intentions...he was not ready to. I started getting better when I started working on my own recovery first.....
Sending kind thoughts your way.