No one should live the way you're living! I know that since I lived it too.
You deserve so much more.
The madness will continue until you put a stop on it.
He is used to manipulating you, and since you can not be so easily manipulated any more his bad behavior will escalate. If he really wants to leave he would have left by now. IMHO he's doing all that in order to get you where he wants you.
How much more of it you can put up?
Usually I'm very reluctant to give advices to people on SR, but I feel compeled to say: for the sake of your sanity you have to remove yourself and your DS from that madness.
It doesn't get better, it just gets worse.
Please take care of yourself. It sounds to me that right now you're at the turning point, please make the most of it.
I didn't understand your last post, is he back now?
If he is not, don't let him back. It will give you both some time to think about things.
From where I stand, by the sound of it, the way he acts he is nowhere even close to seeking sobriety, regardless of what he might promise in order to get you back if it comes to it.
Sorry, but that is only my opinion.
Take care
HUGS