Thank you for the welcomes! I was just downstairs letting my housemate know that I'd joined a group and that I appreciated her saving me last night. I also told her that my plan is that the next time I see this guy I am not going to drink even ONE drink. Hopefully we can meet during the day, at a coffee shop, where the temptation is less. But even if we meet for dinner, I really think I shouldn't even get a single glass of wine, just to show myself I CAN not drink in social scenarios. I also have coworkers who drink around me socially---that's another scenerio that can really mess up my life if I don't get this under control.
Obviously, I have some social anxiety issues or something that contribute. I'm a good conversationalist and people find me funny, but I'm always thinking "I'd be having more fun with a drink. I'd be more interesting with a drink..." The thing is I have no trouble talking to new people sober, and my job (which I'm got at) revolves around my social skills. So why the need for drink??
I don't want to have to worry about going out and seeing people any more. I don't want to have to be "filled in" on all the dumb stuff I did the night before--EVER AGAIN!
To recap: I'm seeing this guy again in a two weeks (he's out of town now). I'm not going to drink at all.
In the meantime, I may go out with coworkers. I sort of want to set a "one drink rule" with them, but maybe I need to go full hog in both situations just to prove I can do it?