Rangel,
Yep, no one has a good story about where their drinking has taken them. Six years later, I still get the odd stomach flip when I remember some of it. It keeps me thankful I don't drink anymore.
Congratulations on day 3 or 4, that's a great accomplishment. keep going in that direction. You can clean the mess up with time and it does take time, but it can be done and worth it. be excited that you are beginning a new life because it is a new life. Keep telling yourself, no matter how badly you might feel about your past, Drinking is not an option. You will be fine if you stay stopped. Looking for some outside help along with SR will be invaluable to your recovery from alcohol. Good luck with everything. Drinking is not an option.