Hi Hopeless,
Welcome to SR! Here you will get a lot of feedback from posters who are only able to respond to what little you reveal to us in your posts. Obviously your situation is a lot more complex than a few paragraphs on a website.
Take what you want/need and leave the rest.
Here is my experience, strength and hope... given in love but also truth which can "feel" harsh.
You seem to be "locked" right now between your head (common sense brain signals telling you of the danger) and your emotions (brain chemicals and hormones creating "feelings" of what you believe to be "romantic love".)
Our brains and our bodies are highly complex and do not always work together for the same goals and your circuits are well... short circuiting... your brain and hormones are literally freaking out right now. Understanding the tidal waves of emotion and fear that you are feeling are based on these chemicals and hormones will hopefully comfort you in the hardest times. THEY WILL PASS in time if you choose to remove yourself from the source of your stress ... the one who is or was passed out when not out endangering the world driving drunk or manipulating your emotions in order to enable above irresponsible behaviors.
You are the beginning of a path that will be difficult my dear ... loving or at least believing you love an alcoholic on a destructive path is so very, very painful. I know I lived it for years and years and years!
But you do have choices! Knowledge is power... so please read, read, read, read! and then read some more. Read this board, the stickies and the posts. Read Under the Influence and Codependent No More. PLEASE go to Alanon! Read some more!
Understanding the battle before you will help you win the battle!
As for your therapist. If you haven't fired her or him yet please do so! Find a therapist who knows and understands addiction! Visit as often as you can with someone living breathing and that can help you navigate the ocean of your emotions.
Please, please do not enable your man to drink and drive. You will feel terrible if you are supporting him in any way that could set the stage for him to kill or maim an innocent.
I have seen this so many,many times. He will go to prison for decades and you will be emotionally scarred for life. If you are supporting him by paying billls and enabling him to use his money for car payments and booze ... please stop.
You can only raise the bottom by not encouraging his bad decision making and bad behaviors.
I don't want to get too hard on a message board but I really, really do care about you even though we don't know eachother in the flesh. Feelings are just that... feelings... real love is when we admire someone's depth of character and ability to love and care for us BACK!
Talk to your brain and your chemicals and refuse to give in to feelings... empower your brain girl! You are smart... you are capable...you are WOMAN! You can do it!
Come back and talk to us. We do care!