Let me tell you a little story Elizabeth. I heard a speaker that was going to meetings...collecting his chips and going home and drinking after every meeting..He was coming up on his two year anniversary and he said he was about to commit suicide it was eating him up so bad....And when they called his name to get his two year medallion...He came up and asked for a white chip and told the group the truth. He has 15 years sober today. I think you will be able to handle it...And grow from it.