I finally admitted to my sponsor and two other friends in AA that I relapsed the weekend of 11/11. I had let them believe that my sobriety date was still 10/10/11. This had been keeping me up at night and causing me extreme anxiety. Tomorrow will be day 25, but I am picking up a white chip and sharing in the meeting about my dishonesty to myself and others. It is a miracle that I have been able to keep this secret and not drink over it for three weeks. (Thank you, God)
I have legal consequences though. I failed an ETG alcohol test at my alcohol group therapy that is mandated by my probation. I am praying every morning and night about this. I will just have to accept whatever happens and try to learn from it.
The biggest thing I have to learn is to THINK before I drink and actually CALL SOMEONE when I want to drink. Why can't I learn this?
