I went to naranon for about three months and I did feel better. When he disappeared again and I knew it would have to end I stopped going because I felt that if he was not going to be in my life I did not need naranon. I wanted to go last Tuesday but the depression kept me from doing anything, I could hardly function at work. I do know that I cannot deal with this pain again, next time I may end up in the hospital so I do accept that I cannot be with him anymore. Unlike others I do not believe that he loves me, my love for him is what kept us together. I am glad that he has not called since Sunday and I hope he can do better now that I am not enabling him. I will go to naranon next week. I know that I need a sponsor. I continued to go to the therapist after the first couple's counseling session and I made progress but here I am today back down again. The posts are very inspiring, giving me hope that although I feel that this pain will last longer than I care to suffer, I will have better days.