Thanks StPeteGrad for your support and helpful advice. Thanks to everyone else as well for the warm welcome!
MsJax, I am feeling pretty good today other than the cold rainy mess outside. When I woke up I had a little headache which made me think how thankful I am to not have much much worse today. I'll gladly endure anything other than a self induced, illogical, aaaaawful mess of physical, mental and emotional relapse aftermath and anguish. Before I posted last night, I forgot the emotional torture I have went through. I forgot how a two or three day binge made me feel. I forgot feeling sooo worthless after no call no shows at work and then having to go in and face everyone and knowing they all know what is up but never saying anything about it. I forgot how I felt after I lost the women I loved, lost a job that I truly liked, spent all my money and now see the 35$ overdraft charges pile up 7 or 8 in a row. I forgot how I felt when I woke up alone on a Wednesday morning to find my fiance not sleeping next to me for some reason. I called her to see where she was and she asked me if I remember anything. She said to look at the night stand. I did and found my 3rd DUI ticket. Then she proceeded to REMIND me that she picked me up from the police station after I wrecked into a parked car and hit a mail box. Insanity is all I can say. The fact that I went to the store and bought that case after having all of this(and much much more...) happen to me is pure disregard and under estimation of my enemy. I will learn from this CLOSE call and re-up on my weapons to fight my enemy.
Thanks for asking how I am today MsJax and sorry for the tangent. I am a tangent master. But they seem to help. See... I almost went into a tangent about how getting on a tangent helps.
I believe I'll eat something and then head to the book store to pick up a book I've been meaning to get. Or maybe it's time to get some work done on my tat....
Again, thanks to everyone for your support. It really does help. I've been battling this inner conflict without telling my friends, family and fiance so I didn't worry them and getting it out has really relieved serious pressure. I look forward to giving back the support and help I receive.
Thanks again and have a nice day! Since we are sober and free we can do what ever we like!