Thanks for the replies.
I have gone to Al-Anon, and I've come so far cause of it. The things I learned about myself-what I didn't cause, cure, control, and what I can control (me!!). I realized how co-dependent I was and how small my self-value had gotten.
I recoginze that I hooked up with him when he was an active addict. I also realize that at that point in life, I did not have the skills or insight I have now. I didn't fully know then what I know now about addiction & alcoholism...
Being a parent, it's my job to protect my child. I don't doubt he's genetically pre-disposed or that the chances of alcoholism & addiction being a part of his life in some way (or negative effects otherwise) are heightened: However, I can't call it quits on trying my hardest for him now. I was raised in the home of an alcoholic and I fell into those categories, but the acknowledgement of the disease in my family was sparse. The processing of what happened-didn't happen. I've already promised to be open and honest about the disease, I know maybe it won't prevent everything, but I can do my very best to sure up my child with a healthy, strong sense of self, high self-esteem and self-worth, and honesty...how else does one begin to break the cycle?
If he wants to stay the way he is, it's frustrating to me but I will accept his decision. I will not accept an active addict as an involved father for my child...I can't justify that. I'm prepared to do this on my own, I am.
So my boundary has officially been set. It's mine-not his. If he appears to be under the influence of anything, my child and I will not be around him. I'll continue to encourage him on his road to recovery but I won't, I won't subject myself to chaos.