[QUOTE=lesliej;3195694]hi Philly,
your story, when seen from the outside, is so completely awful that I can't believe you are with him still.
I kicked him out for the first time yesterday. He usually leaves on his own. I felt slighty good knowing that I was not a weak as I thought. Oh, the pain is almost too much to bare. I am like a walking zombie. He has not called and I have not tried to get in touch with him. I am doing the no contact rule. I have to start somewhere