(((phillyds))) - I, too, am a recovering crack addict. I left my third ex-bf because he still wanted to smoke crack when I chose recovery. I loved him, but I realized I would never trust him. Even if he had 3+ years clean, I knew that I'd still be worried about coming home and finding everything I owned sold/traded for drugs (happened more than a few times before I delved into my own crack addiction).
I, personally, don't doubt that he loved me..he just loved crack more. I couldn't compete, and I knew the pull of crack. As ((Anvil)) said, that crack pipe is one of the most important thing in their lives..my XABF even had a name for his
I was lucky that I only used for a few years, was able to pull myself back out, but he'd been using before crack was called crack and I saw no hope.
It's not just crack that is addictive, it's the lifestyle - the manipulating, stealing, lying, and doing whatever it takes to get that high. Other women? Part of the lifestyle. Sorry to be blunt, but if you've had unprotected sex with him, you might want to get checked out.
I have chosen recovery, but there are so many others who don't. My ex died in a crack house because getting that high was more important than going to a dr. for pneumonia.
You can read many stories here, of people who have had crack addicts as their significant other (so). Some of the addicts do find recovery, but not always.
YOU deserve better than this, sweetie. I've had 3 bf's over the last 30 years, and they've all been alcoholics or addicts. I came here, trying to figure out why I chose those men. It hasn't been easy, and I have grieved. However, I have found the type person I DON'T want to be with, and I've come to believe I deserve a man who will complement my life...not complete it, not make me literally sick at the relationship, but someone who will add to my life. I deserve it, and so do you.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy