Dear Redcandle, so sorry for all you are going through, but I am really glad you got yourself out of the situation at least "physically".
Are you in therapy, if not please consider it, also something that really helped me recently was to write down all the injuries you received (mental and physical), I felt like I got all the poison out of my system.
Please consider al-anon, it will give you a safe place to share with people who have been in the same situations.
Best of luck to you,
Bill