(((leslie))) - I understand. When I broke up with XABF#3, all I heard was how bad he'd been for me (my partner in everything, including crack). I still had to go through the grief. A couple years later, his mom died, who I adored (and she adored me)..grief again, especially since he was still "out there" though I did see him at her funeral. A couple years later, he died...in a crack house.
Whether what we had was real, to the eyes of someone else? It really doesn't matter to me. I loved him, we broke up and I grieved. I grieved again when he died. My family doesn't get it, the people who know me don't much either, but I really think this is a personal thing. We hurt, we grieve and then we try to move on.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy