I became a broken record when I separated from my now XAH. "If you're still sober and I'm still single in a couple years, then we'll talk." Over and over and over. I don't think I believed it myself at first, but after saying it a couple (hundred) times, it sunk in.
He had no clue how hurt I was ... and ours was not an abusive marriage. I also repeated that I needed time and space. Time and space. And to please leave me alone.
We've been separated for 2 years, and the divorce was final a year ago yesterday. I have no desire to get back together with him, and now that there's distance and time, I can see that even though he was my best friend, there's no way in hell I'm going through that again.
Be gentle with yourself and I agree - he's just in the honeymoon of early sobriety. More time needed!