Thanks Suki...
I suppose I was just so thrilled when he announced he was going to AA that maybe I'm partially to blame for getting hopes up. Honestly, I never thought he'd go a day without a drink and in a million years...I never thought I'd see him go 30 days...
I genuinely miss my best friend but I will follow your advice. Thank you.
You know what is so terrible? (and this...I just need to vent...) When he launches into talking about our "future"...and I start to feel my blood boil...I often wish there was something I could do or say that would (if even for a moment) make him feel the pain that he caused me. Sometimes I think that if he could feel that feeling...he would understand why I don't want to blissfully dream about the future. Just typing that makes me feel like a monster. Who in their sane mind wants others to feel pain?! I don't want to hurt anyone...but I don't think I'm doing a good job managing this....