Originally Posted by
ALilBitStronger 
Now, I need to set a boundary, and stick with it, and not worry about his reaction to my boundary. My child deserves a sober father. I deserve a partner who doesn't need chemicals to be 'available', who is reliable, and who I can trust to be a reliable co-parent with me. Just because that's the way things were doesn't mean that's the way they have to be forever, especially now that a child is involved.
Setting a boundary that your child will not be exposed to a father who uses drugs and that you will only accept a partner you can trust and who will co-parent with you reliably, is excellent. It's the way life should be for children and for spouses.
Sadly, he doesn't meet this criteria and isn't likely to any time soon. Boundaries are not ultimatums, they are values and standards we set for ourselves in order to live healthy lives.
Only you can decide which you will choose...living within your boundary or living with an active addict. And I know that this decision isn't as easy as it sounds...emotions, attachments, memories of good times and hope for better days ahead, can all blur the reality of today.
You don't have to make decisions today, the answer will come when you are ready. You don't have to "do" anything today, doing nothing is an action too.
Al-anon, Nar-anon and CoDA have helped many of us here find out balance, clear our minds and find the courage to do what is right for us...sometimes that means staying and sometimes it means leaving and only you can decide what is right for you.
Hugs