alcoholism & weed?
My ABF recently started going to AA.
He's clearly stated that he will 'stop drinking, but not smoking (marijuana)'. I'm incredibly frustrated by this.
I ask why he needs to be altered by chemicals to just be in life, and his answer is that he's always been that way. Conversation escalates, and then he says that "I'm the one who wanted a child with him".
So, I'm hearing him say, that's the way he was and the way he will be. To me, his continuance of smoking weed, even though he says he is not drinking just signifies his lack of ability to handle life without being under the influence of something.
Now, I need to set a boundary, and stick with it, and not worry about his reaction to my boundary. My child deserves a sober father. I deserve a partner who doesn't need chemicals to be 'available', who is reliable, and who I can trust to be a reliable co-parent with me. Just because that's the way things were doesn't mean that's the way they have to be forever, especially now that a child is involved.
I guess I just needed to vent, and any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks.