In the very end I had some nights like that. Hours and hours and hours of drunk ranting and emotional abuse. No locks but I would literally not say one word. Not even look at him and he would go on and on and on. One time he left - to go get more beer probably - and I went to the window and watched him leave and started crying. I was so broken hearted. This was a pivotal moment for me because in a flash I realized something. Despite hours and hours of vicious emotionally abusive rants night after night.....I was crying for him. Y heart hurt not for me but because he felt unloved and there was an actual physical feeling in my body, a desperate urgency to fix that. I had no emotions or feelings for myself. It was like a glass of water on my face and it was then that I knew that there was something wrong with me. That I was very lost. I came back to SR, reread books, and started with a counselor to help me through. You deserve a sanctuary, a place of rest and safety.
In hindsight I regret allowing that month of ranting more then any other thing in my life. It did more damage to at least one of my kids then all the rest combined.