I live with my actively drinking AH. He can be verbally abusive when drinking. We now live in separate bedrooms, and I'm trying to figure out how to get out of the marriage. I've been in al-anon for 4 and half years and it's helped me tremendously. I've learned to set boundaries with him and others, but I know he'll never seek recovery. I've had enough and really don't want to take it anymore. We all deserve more than an alcoholic can give us emotionally. I highly recommend al-anon and kick boxing or other aerobic activity to release your stress and frustration.