Hurt and Confused, your story is so much like mine only fast forward your life 10 years. I am 36 and my wife will be 36 next month. We were married at 28, and from the time we met at 26 until I was 35 my wife and I partied like rock stars. We took breaks from partying, had a beautiful baby boy, own a house, own a company, but none of it mattered when my wife got out of control and tried to committ suicide. She nearly died. We were invinceble. I, like you stopped doing drugs, but she loved them and spiraled fast. We both got in to swinging, and in the end we cheated and nearly ruined our marriage and our lives. My wife ended up at an in-house treatment center for 5 weeks, and it changed our lives. She no longer uses any drugs or alcohol. We stopped swinging, and we are both committed to recover and our child. That's the good news. The bad news is that partying made us do things sexually with other people that we both are having a hard time getting over. We may get separated (this kills me). Like you explained about your husband, my wife is the love of my life and I charish her and my son more than anything. If you can go to an Alanon, AA, or Coda meeting (Co-dependents Anonymous), I think you may learn of ways to take care of yourself. You need to take care of yourself first. I also suggest that you try and get your husband to go to an AA or NA meeting. Do know, however, that you cannot force him. You have great strength to recognize where you are at, and I wish well in the future. Read my story and the story of others, and hopefully you won't feel so alone.
Warmest Wishes,
3rdbird