Originally Posted by
Joybot 
Lately, it has taken me several days now to go through a bottle. It seems to me that my urge for alcohol is wearing off. I wonder about people who can't seem to sit still if they don't drink anything and how bad their addiction is. Even though I'm a heavy drinker, I'm glad I'm just not addicted to a point where I must DRINK something even if I go two days without it.
I actually just buy alcohol out of habit now and not because I have the urge to drink. I always need to have a bottle present so that I can have a piece of mind and also knowing that if I do want to drink, I can just pour a shot.
A heavy drinker does not an alcoholic make?!!
And yet, who knows in our drinking histories when that invisible line is crossed and we moved into the great abyss of alcoholism? I don't know when I became alcoholic in my drinking, but it happened as a completely ordinary thing to me. All I knew, was I drank as I pleased and alcoholism meant nothing to me. Everything was wonderful, lol, until it wasn't.
After that day, I just knew I was gonna drink myself to death, because now I always wanted to get a drunk on even when I was honestly trying to not drink anymore. Didn't matter, you know? I drank anyways. I really had no say in it anymore, even though I lied to myself that my fighting against the drinking was proof I was my own man.
I wouldn't be so glad you're a heavy drinker, either. Even without chronic fatal alcoholism in your future, there are serious life and day to day problems with heavy drinking as well, as you must know already yes? Being honest with ourselves is a difficult challenge, and I hope that one day you can come to a better understanding of what you're doing with your drinking.