Tools for Personal Growth
What are negative self-scripts?
Before we can become self-affirming, we need to learn about the effects of negativism in our lives.
Negative self-scripts are the:
Negative beliefs you have about yourself and of which you remind yourself daily.
Negative statements about yourself which sprinkle your every_day conversation.
Self-deprecating remarks that influence your behavior or beliefs.
Negative descriptions given to you by members of your family of origin or peer group when you were younger onto which you hold even to this day.
Negative feedback you get from your spouse, boss, teacher, colleagues, children, parents, relatives, or others that you take personally and incorporate into your personal belief system.
Negative self-images you have of your body, looks, face, weight, coloring, hair, feet, or other parts of your body, which as you visualize, influence your presentation of self to others.
Negative assessment you or others have made of your competency, skills, ability, knowledge, intelligence, creativity, or common sense. You have agreed with this internally and, thus, believe it true of you.
Negative stories about your past behavior, failures, or performances that you systematically run over in your mind and which influence your current conduct.
Negative attitudes about the possibility of your achievement of success in your life; these influence your motivation, effort, and drive for attainment of goals.
Negative visualizations you have of your current status or state in life to your personal detriment.
Feelings of anger, resentment, hostility or rage you feel toward others for real or imagined mistreatment. This so immobilizes you that your emotional growth gets stunted and you feel negatively about both yourself and life in general.
Feelings of guilt for real or imagined debilitating wrongs you have committed that prevent positive self-valuing thoughts.
Negative prophecies that you or others have made about yourself, your future, your success, your relationships, your family, or your health; these haunt you as you face a daily struggle to "win'' in life.
Ways in which you deny yourself rewards for your goodness, hard work and caring by: (1) not taking time to enjoy the fruits of your labor, (2) living in a style of self denial and austerity and (3) being afraid to let down your guard and relax, lest you fail to achieve your ``Big Pay Off.''
Feelings of over-responsibility with which you burden yourself. This includes the feeling that others in your life will never be able to fully take care of themselves and that you are "responsible'' for them no matter what.
Dread and fear you have when facing your future; the belief that you do not have what it takes to survive or to be successful in whatever circumstances you face.
Feelings of failure you harbor about real or imagined mistakes in the past and your "assured'' failures in the future.
Feelings of jealousy you harbor toward others whom you perceive (real or imagined) to be more successful, prettier, luckier, better liked, smarter, more talented, more creative, and generally better off than you.
Feelings of inferiority you harbor about yourself and the belief that no matter what you do in life, it will never be ``good enough.''
Feelings that there is someone in your life (e.g., your spouse, one of your parents, a family member, a former teacher, a peer, co-worker, a boss) from whom you are still waiting to receive recognition of your worth, your goodness, your competency, your beauty, and your overall qualities.