Ellen, WOW.
Saying this gently but,..............
You are NOT in a relationship. You are in a toxic situation.........
He vanishes, hangs out with an ex, picks fights, yells, WTH????????
Men that want to be in relationships, don't go trolling bars alone.
You only have a very small amount of time invested here, cut the cord, and move on.
Pay close attention to his actions, his words are MEANINGLESS.
This is no way to live. Get you and your kids to a better place.
You are a strong woman, I can read it in your post, you have been kidnapped by the charismatic alkie. Instant connection= red flag........ It's happened to many of us here.
sorry, this guy is a loser, and i believe he would be a loser even if he did not have a drinking problem.
Take care of you, Wishing you all good things in life.