Ellensburg,
He obviously has some major pain in his life that since he was 17 has been trying to fill or not feel.... with alcohol, women, porn, etc. He is so worried about what others think of him cuz he is not satisfied in himself.
Unfortunately there is not a single thing you can do to save him. He is controlling and manipulative just like all addict alcoholics.
He may get sober soon and he may not, but you need more than sober, you need someone who is well, not self centered like we can be.
So, you have to ask yourself? Are you willing to stay with him exactly how he is, (cuz you cannot change him) or not?
I pray God would give you wisdom in making this choice.
Lily