honesty....day 1
last friday, saturday, sunday, monday and tuesday i've in total smoked about 23 joints, did 1 gram of coke, did three xtc pills, didn't eat proper, called in sick from work, slept like hell,
Yeasterday evening I stopped smoking dope , and still sober now (11:15 am).
Slept a bit better, called in sick again from work, using this day to gain some energy back, so I can make it through thursday and friday.
Planned 4 meetings the next 10 days. I need a new social circle, with people that aren't a threat (drug-users, drinkers etc.), but a helping hand. I've been looking everywere, except at AA/NA.
= stupid
Who am I kidding, I really need help. What's worst, it's true that this is a progressive disease. It doesn't get better only worse over time, unless i'm actually working it.
Memories of times long gone phase in and out, memories of continues relapsing and picking up again. I think it's safe to say now: I've been trying it on my own, it didn't work.
Time to change strategies.
so i'm on day 1....