Originally Posted by
timetochange 
Pigtails, I commend you for staying sober amidst a familiar scene with friends and family, at parties and at bars. My drinking began in those types of situations, but when I moved away from all my friends (most of whom I drank with often) and basically didn't have a social life, I began to drink at home alone. So while it's hard for me not to drink now, I can imagine how hard it will be when I go home for a visit and I'm in those situations. That really shows your commitment and determination.
As far as your boyfriend is concerned, I agree with the others that change is just hard. It sounds like you have good communication and hopefully that will help you understand each other better as time goes on.
Yeah sometimes it seems so hard to not drink because literally everyone I know/hang out with drinks. I've cut off my big-time drinking buddies and I try hard to stay away from bars, clubs, etc. but I can't just not see my sister for Thanksgiving, or leave the house when everyone else is drinking, or go home when everyone else wants to go to a bar. I mean, I guess I could do all of those things, and if I felt that my sobriety depended on it, I would, but at this point I'm realizing I cannot isolate myself from everyone who drinks, and I have to just tought it up and get through some of those times.
A friend just invited me out for dinner and dancing on Friday night, and that is exactly the kind of thing I used to love. I can't see that it will be much fun if I'm the only one not drinking, and I don't want to tempt or frustrate myself, so I'm going to tell her no. But the situations I was in all over the long weekend were different... it is easier when I'm with my sister and/or boyfriend because I always have fun with them regardless and know they care about me, but it's a different thing to go out with people who know me as a big drinker and whose sole purpose for going out is to "socialize" with alcohol.
Sometimes I wonder if I need to avoid "trigger" situations and things forever or temporarily, or if I need to adjust my attitude so that I enjoy doing them sober. For instance yesterday I was driving home from work and there was this awesome pop/techno dance music on the radio that I used to love, and I had a flashback at being at a club, drinking and doing coke and just losing myself in the music/moment, and I felt a sort of nostalgia. I was wondering if I will ever be able to enjoy dancing without drinking, or if it would just tempt and frustrate me. But then today I went to the gym and there was some of the same music on my iPod and I realized I can still use it to pump me up during a run, to energize me while I clean my apartment, or to dance at home by myself, ha ha.
Thanks for the post and I hope you're having a good week.
