Yes, Eddiebuckle: The reason I posted this thread was to shed some light on denial. Denial,as you say, is the heart of the matter. And denial is fierce. I am not in denial now. I am not scared now. But I was in denial for years and years and during those years I was not scared enough. And when I look back on all that I'm like a man who thinks back to how, many many years ago his life and everything he had was in deadly peril. And he thinks, "What turned me around?" How did I ever get myself out of that?" And then it occurs to me, "Maybe I didn't do that. Maybe something or some one else did that!" I'll never know. But by God I made it back. I'm not scared now. I have not the slightest desire to drink but I do have memories. Yes I do have memories...
Getting out of denial is half the battle. My whole purpose behind this thread was to say that, to show, at least for me, how difficult that was, how subtle and tenacious the addiction was, how perilous the whole thing was. You think you're in recovery but often you're not. I have no simple solutions to offer except to say this: the best way to get out is to be honest with yourself and the best way to do that is to be honest with others about yourself. The best way to be honest with others is to join a group. It doesn't have to be AA but AA is worth a try. If not that, then some other group. And some kind of a program that you can work.
W