RobbyRobot:
Thank you so much for your concern but I'm afraid that you misunderstand my thread. I thought I had made it quite clear that I am not anxious in any way that I might drink, and I am certainly not "white knuckling" it nor carrying a lot of pain around. As to my "spiritual" life, I had, I thought, gone into that in some detail (indeed some might say too much detail!) elsewhere. If you send me a private message I will give you the locus of those reflections.Perhaps you might like to click on my name above my avatar to get more info on me.
Let me see if I can explain it a little this way. Suppose you are home now from a very perilous journey. That journey took place many years ago. You have been home now and happy for years but when you think back on those dangers which you managed to survive you wonder to yourself, "How did I manage to get where I am today?" I have just been looking at a series of movies about men fighting in the Pacific under horrendous conditions in WW2. When they got home perhaps many of them wondered how they ever made it through, and indeed some of them might have a bit of a guilty feeling about having survived when others did not(the so called "Stockholm Syndrome").
So let me assure you. I'm very happy now. At least compared to what I was. I have no desire to drink. I can mix a dry martini for a friend and have some lemonade for myself with no problems. I'm certainly not white knuckling it. Why not go back now and read some of my earlier posts.
Thanks anyway for your kind concerns.
W.