W, good post (as usual).
I don't know that "fear" is the word that I would use. Having seen my mother live and die with this disease and finally at the age of 43 facing up to the ugly truth that I had become everything I hated in her, I sought help. Sure, initially it was all about fear and the unknown at that point. But you described my memories of her from the age of six or so pretty succinctly:
alienate you from your spouse, your kids, the rest of your family, rob you of self respect and leave you alone with a bottle
In my limited experience the cornerstone of adddiction is denial, and if you can manage true honesty about your addiction and your actions then you have a shot at sobriety. Not drinking for twenty three months doesn't make me any less an alcoholic than while I was drinking. It never goes away, we are like elephants in that respect. Our amygdalae will light up like a christmas tree when we allow the denial to creep back into our lives, and in succession we will drink eventually. We will point to the job loss, an unfaithful spouse, the cruel affects of aging... but it was and always will be denial that causes us to drink.
Edd