P.S. Am I "scared" right now, right this moment? No. But when I think back on what happened during those years and what could have happened, and all the times I had convinced myself that I was out of danger but wasn't really, I can't help getting spooked. I feel like there's a shadow still around somewhere and I've got to be vigilant. Also, I still can't explain what made it all turn around and get better, except that I needed the help of other alcoholics.
So put it this way. I'm not scared right now but I remain vigilant and I'm trying to give back some of what I've received. Whether a person takes part in AA or some other program or even tries to do it on his or her own, it's that first big step that's the tough one. You may think you've taken that, that you're on your way to recovery, but it's a very tricky business, a struggle for complete honesty and that's where other alcoholics can help. At least they helped me.
W.