Thanks Dee. Well, I admit that I'm less scared than I was many years ago. But having been through all that I still make a point of keeping a good watch posted,as they say in the military. Let me put it another way. For around 30 years when I was "struggling" with this thing, trying to get into recovery, for all those years I thought I was scared but in retrospect I don't think I was scared enough. Denial is like this- "I'll get counseling, I'll be honest with my doctor, I'll admit I'm powerless over alcohol, etc. etc." But this is all window dressing unless something happens to cause a real change of some kind. Otherwise you're talkin' the talk but you're not walkin' the walk. That started with me when I got into a program. It happened to be AA and frankly I've still got some problems relating to all of that. But I guess I managed to get enough of it under my belt to get things started. In retrospect I think that, although some folks seem to have done this alone, I found that it was necessary for me to have some kind of a program, some help from other alcoholics, to get anything done. It doesn't have to be AA but it often is.
So you ask why am I here on this website? Yes, that's why I'm here. I'm here to remind myself to be vigilant and hopefully to help others do the same thing.
W.