I loved the football banter even though I don't really understand it!
I love how people love their teams.
Epiphanies: I love being out in the woods. I love being happy and sane. I can choose to happy and sane. I can choose to move beyond dwelling on the past and create whatever Today I want for myself. I can handle people disagreeing or being disappointed with me. They made their beds. I don't have to lie in them. It's their problem not mine. I can feel proud of my own accomplishments without asking for or needing or receiving their approval.
The Christmas thing is hard. I have SO MUCH baggage and sadness and guilt around the holidays and the even the decorations. It's one big Grief Ball about my mom and anger about trying so dammed hard and never being able to fix all the f-ed up things and relationships. All the crazy codependent rituals.
So I'm just not going to do it anymore.
I'm thinking maybe books for the Must Buy people and pretty hairbands for the girl nieces. And that's it. No scouring the universe for The Perfect Present.
I need to get to Acceptance because where I am right now is more like F*ck Em.