CC, I too am a middle class mom in my 40's with 2 kids, a husband and family close by. I also have a drinking problem. I am on Day 4. I would wake up feeling terrible each morning but just push through so I could get through my day so I could drink in the evening. There were many mornings I would wake up and not clearly remember the night before or have vague recollections of doing or saying very stupid things. I had tried for years to stop or/cut down but no real success. When i would try and stop i would feel awful, worse than a hangover sometimes. So i would say "what's the piont?" and start drinking agian which made me feel even worse.
After waking up the Friday after Thanksgiving with fuzzy memories, I told my husband I had a problem. He was taken aback by the admission. He knew I drank a lot but never said anything becuase I had been very irritable and down and he didn't want to start another fight. I was very good at hiding and making excuses for my drinking. I was also hurt that when I told him he didn't immediately start looking at resources to try and help. He honestly doesn't know what to do. My husband hasn't even offered to pour out the alcohol left in the house! He is trying to come to terms with my admission but becuase I did such a good job hiding all these years he doesn't understand the hold it has on me. All I can do, and you should try this too, is talk to him and be patient. I understand your frustration and hopelessness. I am trying to hold on to the fact that everyone says it will get better and my life will turn around and so can yours.
I am going to call the doc today maybe you should too. Keep in touch.