Welcome to SR cccyou1022
I know thinking of life without booze is pretty scary but there's hundreds of people here who'll assure you it can be done - you'll find a lot of support here
If you feel especially low when you're sober, have you thought of seeing your Dr or a counsellor - this is not a diagnosis, but it's always possible that you may be depressed or something.
Sometimes these things can only become readily apparent when we quit.
I hope you'll find yourself at home here. We really do understand
D