Stories like yours scare the f**k out of me... I am 27 married this year and want to have kids soon. If you read my posts, I have recently come to the conclusion I have issues with alcohol and I am quitting the 1st of the year. Wine is evil... I quit drinking hard alcohol and thought wine would be okay, but it's not... and just to give you some insight... out of 10 of my close friends all 25-30 years old... I think 7 of us are alcoholics!! I think alcoholism has become a socially acceptable disease, close to smoking, but it creates so many more problems! Pain killers are not something familiar to me, but dont they have a similar effect that alcohol does?? I thought I read that somewhere. I just bought some books and and am hoping they help. I found an amazing therapist too. I highly recommend finding someone other than family and friends to talk to, and going from there... I couldnt make progress until I had an outside professional telling me things I really already knew... good luck!