need help
i am a middle class suburban mother, i am severely depressed, and I have multiple serious issues in my life that i dont know how to fix. I feel as though I am turning further and further inside, and i drink at least a bottle of wine every night and have been for a long time. i know that my parents, who i see often, and other people have to notice, but no one acknowledges it or offers help. my husband obviously knows but he just occasionally says that i should drink less, or he gives me a dirty look when I pour another glass. I also take painkillers during the day (only 2 or 3) and no one knows. I don't want to ask for help because there is nothing else that makes me feel better or kills my pain. When I am sober, i wish to die.