Hi Im sorry your in this situation. Ive just started going through this myself. Ive never been a big 'self help' believer but after being on this site Im a changed woman! lol
The best thing Ive found was to read and learn anything everything you can! Even if you think you know it keep reading.
If you don't think it applies to you read it to the end!!!!
You may discover things you never even knew about addiction and those people who are with them. AlAnon is another great help.