Gracey, I have to wonder if you are changing? I mean, you seem to be standing up for yourself a little bit and trying not to be so enabling ...... could he perhaps be feeling the heat of you being a changed woman which caused this mean spirited reaction in him?
Don't sell yourself so short Gracey ....... perhaps he is noticing the difference and is reaching for anything that he "knows" in the past controlled you. Be strong, continue to move forward with your life.
If he leaves he leaves, if he hates you, then so be it! For him to tell you that he "hates" you and "follows you from room to room" sounds just like my 4 year old son having a temper tantrum and following me around to make sure I know about it!
Sheesh, put this in perspective and DO NOT LET HIM make you feel bad or depressed. He sounds as if he is still drinking. He may be sober, but he by no means is living a life of sobriety. Tell him to Grow Up and Get Out!