Major depression episode
Yesterday I had a major depression episode and I wanted to shut myself off from the rest of the world. I got into bed at about 4pm and slept until almost 3am. There are some family members that I am stuck being in contact with that have the ability to not only kill a good mood, but send me into a mode of hopeless depression. It is not that they are mean, it is just the personality. I don't really know how to explain it. You have probably met people who have the ability to just kill your good mood as soon as they open their mouth. That is what this is. It hurts because it is family and I want to be good to them but they just drive me freaking nuts. I think a lot of my depression and drinking has come from my lack of ability to deal with people like this. It has been a lot better since I don't really see family anymore now that I moved out here. However one phone call is enough to bring back all those awful feelings. I was feeling pretty good about myself not to long ago, now I am not sure. I think I am struggling with a self identity also and that is part of the problem......