Thank you all for your posts
That helped a lot but to better explain
Right now I am
at about 40% Ugh I can never drink again
20% Yea I have time can achieve all I wanted to do..
40% Ugh I have time cannot escape and have to realize the fact that I might not be as ambitious as I thought I was and not do anything
Having to learn how to live again.. that is scary.. what do I do with my time.. every one or at least I kept saying one day this one day that but what if I dont do anything.. drinking was my escape I guess I will have to actually face my failures ..