Afraid of Reality - observations
I have been thinking about addiction and some people say that we use our addiction to hide from reality. I am sure that I do in fact I know that I do. I also use my addiction or drink when I want to dream about what the future holds.. the funny part of in all of my asperations I never daydream of being wasted on a beach some where. I have in the end begun drinking alone and in this last instance I think that I picked up becouse I wanted to escape to a better place becouse I was bored.
I keep thinking to myself that things are going to get better and I am just passing time.. next year everything will come to a head and I just need to keep my head down and stay in and wait.. I have realized that drinking alone is not even safe for me anymore..
I also keep saying to myself that I dont want to be alone.. I dont want to quit drinking becouse I will be an outcast but I realize that I am an outcast now becouse of my drinking..
I feel like I have turned a major corner now.. the drinking alone is a major warning sign.. I justified it say that I wouldnt spend any money or make a fool of myself or be tempted to do drugs with my friends..
Just a few observations sorry for going on and on just trying to sort some things out