Good for you on posting here and looking for Al-Anon meetings. I know things suck now but this too shall pass. You are on your first steps to recovery and at least from my experience it gets better, a lot better.
To give you an example my avatar when I joined was:
because that was the way I felt. (He is sticking his tongue into a fan, the fan is kind of chopped off.)
I like the new one a lot better
Your friend,