Originally Posted by
Saliena 
I wish I was proud.. right now the only thing I can do is cry... I hate have this additction. And, I feel like it is something that is going to kill me in the end. And, I don't want that... I love life to much. I want to be sober! I need to be sober... and I guess I can pick up today and make this my last first time.. and it will be..
Have you ever felt like you want to drink and you don't want to drink at the same time? Do you feel like you don't want to be alive but you don't want to die?
That is the jumping off point. It is a weird limbo to be in but it is a very good place to be in despite how it looks right now.
You know what it is to be here. Many people don't. You are in a unique position to surrender. Accept yourself and know that you, as you are, is right where you belong. You are acceptable, beautiful and real.
Stop fighting and let go control of who you think others might think you are.