After 20 years of fighting I finally gave up on October 28 2009. I had hit an all time low in my life. A seed was planted in me that day. I was sitting in a jail cell facing 15 years. Someone had wrote in pencil on the wall a saying that changed my life. It simply said " this is not worth it there has to be a better way!" From those few words I took an honest look at myself and was scared what I saw. I live by a motto that states that today might suck but tomorrow has the chance to be better. I hope something in all that helps.