That's so true Bozboz, it really is like losing a best friend, like "NOW what do I do!?" Sadly alcohol did feel to me like someone(thing) I could always count on to be there for me. I was filling an emptiness, and running from myself. Hiding from life, really, which I always found too hard to deal with. Now that I have realized that emptiness and I am actually getting to know myself for better or for worse, I don't need to drink anymore. I am learning to be my OWN best friend.
Saliena, for me it was a tipping point. I finally realized that alcohol was doing NOTHING for me. The opposite of nothing. EVERY time I drank, whether I binged or not, set me back psychologically and physically. Giving it up was, for me, a choice to have a better life. To start doing things FOR ME. To be healthy and happy. To THRIVE.
Believe me I was like you for a long time; feeling angry and frustrated and disappointed with myself every time I drank. But eventually I just had enough, and you will too.