Welcome tjdk, so glad you found us, this is a great place to vent, so many here have gone through what you are dealing with now.
I am going to give you some advice that I have a hard time doing myself, step back, release yourself from any guilt.
I am 49 and my mom has been an alcoholic for over 40 years, while I have not gone "no contact" with her I have quit feeling guilty about her self-destruction.
Best of luck to you,
Bill