Saliena, I was doing some reading, and one thing I had read is "that when you stop drinking, it can feel as though you are going through the death of a best friend or a loved one." We grieve and feel lost on something that we have been counting on for so many years. Something that was there through happiness, anger, depression, etc...it made so much sense to me. The one thing I have always depended on, I have decided to kick out of my life. It does feel like I lost my best friend. Maybe this is a weird analogy to others, but it gave me a great way to put perspective on it.
Proud of you for starting over!
~Bozboz