Cynical One has posted some great essays on this type of situation. Maybe if they can't "hear" you, they would read up on it and "see" themselves in some literature, if you provided them with copies. I wouldn't direct them to this Site. I would keep it just for you so you can share freely.
It sounds like they are just desperate to have your AH successfully recover and are wanting to "do something" rather than "let go". It's tough. Would they consider attending Alanon?