Will power alone doesn't always work, it's an illness that produces changes in the brain and the way it works. You can reverse much of it with abstinence and therapy, it gets easier over time to deal with. But unfortunately it's not as simple as making a flip resolution. I couldn't get sober alone, much as I would've preferred it that way and not having to do the disclosure. I couldn't seem to rely on my own thoughts to guide me in the right direction.
Don't get discouraged, keep trying. Learn what you can from this and move on, recovery is an ongoing process. It doesn't all happen as quickly as we may like it, but it does get easier with time and support.
*Good to hear that you are making a start.